Your face feels hot and your cheeks get red. If a girl or boy is making you feel this way, you might be wondering, "What is going on? Just as our bodies grow as we get older, so do our feelings. They change and mature as we become preteens, teenagers, and adults. A crush is a word used to describe special feelings you have for another person, a classmate, or friend that you really like.
Noticing your first crush is an exciting time in life because you're beginning to understand how it feels to like another person — a lot! Sometimes, feelings for a crush can be confusing because they're new to you and you aren't sure how to act. You could have mixed feelings. When you see your crush, a part of you might feel embarrassed and you might want to run away and hide. Another part of you might imagine your crush noticing you and sharing the same feelings.
Crushes are a little bit like the romantic love adults feel toward one another. And in a way, a crush can help us think about the kind of person that we want to love when we grow up. They help us understand which qualities we notice and like in another person — and maybe a few that we don't like. You can't choose your crushes. Sometimes they sneak up on you and — wow — who was that? Your crush might be a classmate, a neighbor, your best friend's crush, an older kid, a friend of your brother or sister, a sister or brother of a friend, or a teacher at your school.
Your crush could even be on someone you don't know, like a professional athlete or a celebrity. There isn't just one factor that makes a guy crush-worthy. From looks to an intelligently witty personality, girls can find a variety of qualities attractive enough to form a crush. The major cause of a crush is intense attraction. Feeling an electric spark or physical pull toward a guy is typically behind a woman's initial infatuation.
Attraction isn't the same across the board. Sally may think that Blaine is the cutest guy in the class, while Jill completely disagrees and thinks that Tommy is hot. While attraction is an essential part of a crush, each woman feels this in a way unique to her. It's much more fun to feel those butterflies in your stomach , which are likely caused by a rush of adrenaline in the brain, Walfish says. When thinking about your crush, blood is ushered away from your abdomen and into your extremities, just like it does during a fight-or-flight response.
This is most often associated with fear, but positive emotions can cause it, too. A crush can be fleeting, but it can also develop into a deeper version of love as a relationship progresses.
Fisher, H. Frontiers in Psychology , 7. Natalie Mica, LPC , licensed professional counselor. Fran Walfish , family and relationship psychotherapist.
That's why crushing can feel like a spiral you can't seem to get a grip on. Read more: 1 0 subtle signs your crush just wants to be friends. Cacioppo noted that, while you can't control when you develop a crush on a person, you can stop the crush once you consciously notice it.
But if you begin to have shared, in-person experiences with your crush, an attachment system is created. A relationship is then established and the body and brain can react differently, like feeling sad or alone when that person is physically absent.
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